Hi everybody. As you’re revising, aim for clear, direct prose. Make your writing feel readable and engaging. Say what you mean. Don’t worry about trying to achieve an academic or overly formal style.
Here’s an example of a clear, direct thesis that says what it means with precision:
Legault’s translations of Dickinson’s poetry reveal a playfulness sometimes overlooked in her work.
Here’s an example of a complicated–or convoluted–thesis that aims to sound and feel academic and formal:
Through his translations of Dickinson’s poems, Legault creates an unusual intertextual relationship, distilling the complexity of her voice into a playfulness that leads the reader to detect as much in the originals.